I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
