he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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