We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize