I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
