I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
