Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
