My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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