You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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