Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
