im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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