You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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