Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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