I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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