but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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