its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
