I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Oh god it's open bar.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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