Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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