it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
