Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
