in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
