I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
