we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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