Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
