and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
