i jhust puked up my retainher.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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