a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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