I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
