fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
