i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize