Duck Duck Cougar?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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