Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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