what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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