Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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