...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
