I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
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so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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