I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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