Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
