Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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