Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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