Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
