i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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