oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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