Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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