You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize