How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize