I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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