Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
