remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
