Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
