You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Non-Jews are for practice
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
two words...techno handjob
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
