I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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