No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
