I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
