you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
