have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
