If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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