At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
