I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Can I color on your dick again?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
