I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
