Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
