just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
