That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
