You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
