You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
